Will kissing like a fish (while holding a melting popsicle) make you a princess?
Last night the Bug and adult members of his family were going to the newly-released Harry Potter sequel. That left Grandma retrieving two grandchildren from the movie line of camped-out viewers. I could tell the Mouse wasn’t too upset about missing out on the blockbuster, because when he saw me, he slipped his flexible little body under the stroller tray and ran to me with arms outstretched.
“Did you notice I’m wearing the GAP shirt you bought me?” the Worm said, pulling her shirt from her chest. I smiled. The Worm, the sweetest five-year-old ever, never failed to thank others for what they do.
“Grandma, I know what we can play when we get to your house,” said the Worm, excitedly. We hadn’t even pulled away from the theater yet.
“What can we play?” I asked.
“Asian kitties,” she said.
“Asian kitties?” I asked.
“You know, like where you are a spy kitty in camouflage.”
“Oh, Agent Kitties?” I said. Darn, I hate this getting old part. “How do you play?”
“Well, you like pick a kitty to be. Then you like pick to wear a cute headband and maybe pink shoes,” she continued. “I’m going to be a purple and tan striped kitty and wear a headband with a little kitty sitting on top of it. My agent name is Calli.” She spelled it for me. I knew since her name ended in “i” we’d have fun.
I mentally pictured her outfit. No one would ever be able to tell you were a kitty with a headband and pink shoes. But just to be sure, I asked, “How can the enemy tell you’re not a kitty? Won’t your ears show?”
“Well, you like disguise yourself by wearing a Chameleon suit,” she said, matter-of-factly. “And then you just blend in.” She stood in front of the plant in the front yard, when we arrived at the house. “Like in my Chameleon suit you wouldn’t even be able to see me.” The younger generation uses like a lot.
I don’t think I knew what a Chameleon was until I married and my first husband wasn’t what I thought he was.
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
“Nothing yet,” she said, like I was some kind of dummy. “We haven’t got our missions yet.”
We each scribbled two missions on a piece of paper, and put them in a bowl. She drew. “Find a treasure that has stuff to make yourself into a princess,” the paper read. That one for sure wasn’t the one I’d written. Mine was simple – “Find a quarter.” I didn’t think turning myself into a princess would be as easy.
“We have to draw a treasure chest first,” the Worm further instructed. Meanwhile, I don’t want you to think I’d forgotten about the Mouse. I wasn’t neglecting him. I walked into the office to grab some paper and pens carrying him like a football under one arm. I heard faint popping, an eery sound like lips smacking closed then open. I looked at my computer screen, the fish in the aquarium were active and Mouse was doing his fish impression. I tossed him a ball overhead just out of his reach. Each time he ran after the ball (as good as any retriever), I’d add a few strokes to my art masterpiece.
When our treasure chest was drawn, the Worm, my hard task master, instructed me to gather jewels. Imitation better be good enough, since that’s all I own. The Worm said it would be okay if she hid the princess-making treasure kit because she could forget real easy. Finally someone in the family who takes after me.
Like any good story, the Worm said we needed a villain while we were searching for our treasure. “He can be a mean dog,” she said pointing at the Mouse who was crawling under the bed to try to get the ball. We pretended to fight him with swords and a couple of fake punches to the middle section. The cooperative villain thought it was fun and joined in, punching himself in the gut.
After this game, the Worm read her new book The Story of Mu-lan to me and the Mouse. “Grandma, she looks like a boy to me.” We gazed at the picture. “In fact I think I see a faint mustache.”
We talked about our weekend away when we’d stayed at a farm in Julian. She nodded that she remembered.
“Maybe we could go back and you could feed the pigs again.”
“I want to eat the pig’s bacon,” she said hungrily. She dreams in bacon.
Later the GAP returned to claim her two kids. “We had so much fun. We played Agent Kitties,” she told her mom, “and we had to hunt for a treasure chest.”
“Oh, so you could turn yourself into a princess.” How’d she know? Did we look like princesses? Let me know if I look any different the next time you see me.
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The Worm has wonderful imagination! Sounds like you guys had a blast.
Your grandchild is very sophisticated. From the looks of it, Zoe turns out the same.
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