Things I will never do again

This year like the sixty three before it is now gone. Still I am learning.

Buy hygienic Christmas presents. No one was excited about the toothbrushes.
Cut my own hair. My guess is that I am lying about this one.
Go to an amusement park during the week following a holiday. Free tickets and boysenberries are so hard to pass up, but from this point forward, not impossible.

Send Couponman stocking stuffer shopping for the grandkids. Keep in mind the oldest is eight. He returned from the 99¢ Store with sand toys – because everyone buys beach toys in December and two rain slickers — adult sized!
Opt for a family gift exchange, gender unspecific. Most walked away with their own present.
Save special items until just the right day. For five years, I’ve set out an elaborate gingerbread house on display. No one has even noticed it, until this year when Hot Wheelz removed the crinkly cellophane from around it.
Mention the word “diet” in November or December. Or finish the extra large Costco-size bag of Gummy Worms so I can start my diet clean and fresh on January 1st.
Hold a baby while standing barefoot on a large rock that is slick with water.
Play laser tag (after I’ve eaten the half full bag of Gummy Worms) with people half my age. Hooray, for Coco. She won, and she never wins…
Pretend like I know what I am doing.
Take good health for granted.
Make it up to midnight on New Years Eve.
Fail to tell those you love that you love them.
Give up.
Write a boring blog post again. Now you know I’m lying.

Lastly, never say never again.