Yesterday I won first place in the office weight loss challenge. A total of 14.3 pounds in six weeks. While that may sound like quite a feat (or maybe two feet worth), I don’t know how much glory there is in bragging you were chubby enough to have had that much to lose. And still not be at your goal weight!
I spent all afternoon in dreamland (don’t tell my boss) deciding how I was going to spend my wad of cash. I could apply the $200 to a badly needed new oven (one that doesn’t cook with lumps and bumps, and actually has a working timer), an iPhone (only how anyone over forty reads that small browser window is beyond me), or even 200 scoops at Baskin-Robbins.
And then my husband, Couponman made the decision for me. I’d stupidly transplanted a beautiful Wisteria sage last week in the heat, while it was in bloom (Coco my resident horticulturist looked at my deed and hung her head in disgust), and sadly it died (as she predicted). I didn’t want to face my mistake so I asked my husband to remove it while I was at work.
“I did something really stupid,” he admitted, calling me at the office.
“What?” I calmly asked. Surely my adoring spouse could not possibly do something stupid? Something so foreign to his nature? Okay, my actual exclamation might have been, “What now!”
“Bottom line — I mangled the garage door,” he said.
He knows I don’t like more details than I need, but this explanation required a tad more. “I’m sure it’s not that bad. What did you do?”
“No, it is that bad,” he continued. “I stupidly (is this a trend?) left the prong thing-y (remember he’s the non-handyman who grocery shops) by the garage door…” He hemmed and hawed, and finally came out with, “ I don’t even know how I managed it, but the tool got caught in the track of the door and tore all the nuts and bolts out. The door is bent, hanging lopsided and the rollers are…”
I’d heard enough. “Okay,” I said feebly.
“Someone is coming to fix it tonight.”
“How much is it going to cost?” You guessed it. “Two hundred dollars,” he said.
Postlogue:
I noticed this morning that the lifeless Wisteria sage was still planted in the ground. When I asked why, he said, “It was too hot outside to dig it out.” The moral of the story is: Clean up your own stupid messes.
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Your real reward is the 14.3 pounds. And just think: if you hadn’t won the office pool, you’d be having to take the repair bill out of something else. And those 200 scoops at the ice cream store would put those pounds back on fast!
I know… I remember long ago as a single mom when I’d taken a side job. I had big plans for the extra $500. Instead the refrigerator went out and my dad’s words were, “Well at least you had the money for it.”
You did awesome dropping that much weight! Give yourself some credit for hanging in there for 6 loooooooooooooong weeks! At least you didn’t try and talk Coupon Man into letting you fix the garage door. We know how good you do with those fix it jobs!!
Ha, ha. I did try to fix it before the man came, but I couldn’t figure out how to get the little rollers back in and hold the garage door up at the same time.
Congratulations on the weight loss and your winnings!! Boo-hoo on how you gotta spend the winnings. But, like Susan said, at least it’s not coming out of your regular budget. And now Couponman owes you big time, which can always come in handy.
God, you make me laugh out loud! It feels so good. Again, congratulations.
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