I want to first apologize to you. I know you are not supposed to apologize, but I just must. I taught a class this morning and had envisioned making beautiful Golden Tickets taped to a big chocolate bar just like Willy Wonka did in one of my favorite books Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to happiness for each person in attendance. The tickets would sparkle and remind them of all the good things they had to be thankful for. But, alas, they didn’t quite turn out like I planned. I’d tried a craft night with the grandkids just a few weeks ago and knew glitter was probably not a good choice. We spilled it all over the floor. My six-year-old granddaughter volunteered to “broom” it up. It traveled to every nook and cranny in the house. Weeks later, I’m still sparkling — only not from the inside out. My husband threatened divorce if I use glitter in the house again. So I used glitter glue instead. You have to squeeze and squeeze. My hand got so worn out it almost fell off.
And you know what this isn’t the only thing that hasn’t worked out lately. During the last rain storm, the room in my sunroom caved in. Then my son got his wallet stolen. My daughter wrecked her car and they wanted to total it, and she can’t afford a car payment.
In fact a lot of things haven’t worked out the way I expected. I had one date all during my high school career. In fact I married the first guy who asked me out on a second date. I thought it was a sign. Then I was a single mom for thirteen years. Most of my children were not easy. (If they read this, I’ll let them guess which ones.) I can’t play the piano like my piano friend Leslie. I can’t sing like Jeralyn. I can’t drape fabric and set up a classroom like Sally. I can barely drape clothing on myself. I left the bathroom the other day at work with my skirt caught in my pantyhose. One of the fellows tapped me on the shoulder to let me know. I save pictures of the dreamhouse I don’t own. Since most of the pictures include a maid and cook, I probably never will. I can’t fit into most of the clothes in my closet. I’ve felt like an outsider most of my life.
There’s a German legend that just as God had finished naming all the plants, one was left unnamed. A tiny voice spoke out, “Forget me not, O Lord!” And God replied that his would be its name.
The five petals were to be a metaphor for things I need to learn in my life… Only I forgot the forget-me-not plant I had purchased before, so I had to go home and get it. You wouldn’t have expected it to get any better, would you?
But let’s get on to the metaphor. First, forget not to be patient with yourself…
Quit comparing your faults against someone else’s strengths. Apples to apples. Find friends who are meaner and badder than you. j/k
Years ago I had a special friend who was elderly and frail. She was in a wheelchair. She told me, “I’ve learned I have to be patient with myself. I can no longer do the things I used to do.” I’ve just started working out with a trainer, and believe me. I’m learning that one quickly.
Secondly, forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice…
Put your time in perspective. Losing sleep over a sick child is a good sacrifice. Losing sleep over reading the book your child refused to read for school and then preparing a book report for that child is not a good sacrifice. In fact it led to more and more missed assignments. But I did get an A on “his” book report.
Thirdly, forget not to be happy now…
Willy Wonka’s golden ticket held this message, “Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket… Tremendous things are in store for you. Many wonderful surprises await you. Mystic and marvelous surprises will delight, astonish, and perplex you.”
Don’t base your entire future happiness on something you are searching to find. I have to admit I recently entered an office pool for a large lottery. I was thinking I could fix the roof, buy Coco a car, replace Cheezy’s wallet contents (though I probably could have done that with the loose change in my pocket). I was disappointed when I didn’t win. Just as those who found a candy bar without the golden ticket in the novel were disappointed. They forgot that a simple Twix candy bar can be quite a find.
Fourthly, forget not the “why” of what you are doing…
Sometimes in our daily routines, we lose sight of why we chose to do what we do — being a parent, a grandparent, a worker, a spouse.
Finding the why again will give us purpose and joy.
Lastly, forget not that you are loved…
This one is hard for me. Especially in areas where I’ve tried so hard, and still managed to fail. I remember when one of my sons was diagnosed. I prayed and prayed that this would not negatively affect this child. But when I saw the effects of this behavior, I felt maybe I hadn’t worked hard enough for this child. So I did everything humanly possible. I fixed a special diet. I took him to counseling. I… I…. I… I thought no one felt more alone than I did during that time.
Years later this child still fights with repercussions of this diagnosis, but I see the wonderful relationship that he and I have developed over the time we invested in one another. And I know I may never have had this close relationship with him had we not had the trials.
None of us are alone. I am reminded of this each time I see a beautiful sunset or sunrise. That’s one of the golden tickets I’m waiting for — I want to be the sky painter over St. George, Utah. Have you ever seen a bad portrait driving from Nevada’s big blue skies into Utah’s red rock?
I got a little idea of this special feeling of belonging yesterday. I attended the 90th birthday party of one of my parents’ friends. He’d known me since the day I was born. He looked frail and was getting forgetful, not seeming to know everyone around him. But when he saw me, his eyes lit up and he called me by name and gave me a big hug. It was like going home.
I can’t think of anything better.
