I purchased a new computer. That means all the cables must be disconnected from the orifices that they have been in for the nine (yes, nine) years.  With nine years of dust that’s accumulated behind the desk, my peripherals almost look wireless.  :-)  All the software that has been installed and  the disks conveniently hiding must be aroused from their hiding places, most  likely none of them compatible with Windows 8.  I’ve got nine years’ worth of Turbo Tax loaded.  I could tell you how much it has cost me to  live in this grand land any day of the week for the last nine years.  Until now.

The first item on the agenda, back up everything.  Like the duplicates, or possibly  triplicates, of all my bad photographs.   And a close second, get Couponman ported over to the newer Windows 7  machine that has been sitting on the other side of the room for over a year  without anyone use.  My software was  installed on the XP machine and Couponman wasn’t prepared for the learning  curve with Windows 7.  I can only imagine  his lack of preparation for Windows 8.

First get his email ported over.  “What’s your password?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he answered.

I called our cable service and yelled out to Couponman, “What’s your secret  security question?”

“I dunno,” he said

“You know,” I said patiently, “the one you gave Time Warner.”

“Maybe my mother’s maiden name?”

I relayed his guess to the agent.  “Nope,” I said.  “That’s not it.”

“Maybe the street where I grew up?”

“You grew up on the streets?  You never told me that.” I kidded.  “Maybe that’s why you’ve got problems.”   He didn’t think I was very funny.   I handed him the phone.  “Here,  work out your security issues with him.”

“What school did I go to?   What was the name of my first pet?   Where was I born?” he repeated after the technician.  Then he was unusually quiet.  “I have to give you an answer for all of those?”  The technician calmed him  down.  I don’t know how he did it without
laughing.  “Oh, I have to pick one?”

Four hours later and the “old” new computer is hooked up with internet (which is why this is getting published at 1:30 a.m. in the morning, email and a printer that is older than my grandchildren.  The brand new computer is sitting in the  middle of the floor, the desk is pulled out from the wall, cords flung from one end of the room to the other.  The monitor  connection on the less-than-one-year-old monitor won’t fit on the new  computer.  Using Windows 8 is going to be  a test of its own, let alone when I can’t even see it.

All I can say is when I get this hooked up, it better last  another nine years.