One scoop shy of a sundae

There’s something to these sayings…  One straw short of a haystack.  One card short of a full deck.  One brick shy of a full load.  One knight short of a Crusade.  One hamburger short of a Happy Meal.

I got a call this morning.  I picked up the receiver.  This is what I heard on the other end.  “Are you back from your trip yet?” 

“You’re calling me at home, aren’t you?” I asked in my best inside-my-head voice.  By the time my answer left my mouth, it had run through my internal diplomatic translator.  “Yeah, we arrived last night.”  I don’t have Skype, so I can still shake my head in disbelief.

“I want to make strawberry shortcake for dessert,” I said to my husband.  “Would you mind going out to the fields today and buying a flat?”

“Do you want me to buy strawberries?” 

Didn’t I just hear that somewhere?  “No,” I’m thinking in my inside voice.  “I’ll just use a strawberry substitute.  Like maybe the beets growing outside.”  (I did get away with that once in the pumpkin roll.  I accidentally used frozen spaghetti squash that I later mistook for cooked pumpkin.  No one noticed.  I mentioned it to the GAP later in secret.  She laughed.  She thought it might be the only time Mr. Green Jeans ate a vegetable other than carrots.)

“Sure,” I said.

“Maybe we could have strawberry shortcake,” the Reporter said.

“Maybe,” I answered back.  I refrained from shaking my head, but turned slightly so I could do a little eye roll.

Today I stopped at the bank.  There was an empty “waiting queue” configured out of straps and poles for customers to wait in an orderly line for the next available teller.  The maze was empty.  I watched the person who walked in the bank ahead of me.  He walked to the back of the maze and zigzagged between all the straps before walking to a teller.  Then, for no reason, I did the same.  Does that mean I’m not a leader?

Then I got lost in the parking garage.  That’s pretty predictable for me.  Funny thing though, three other people followed me around the levels.  See, maybe I am a leader.

Related posts:

1. My first Spanish lesson
2. The shortened version
3. Too much information
4. Does any man listen?