Ideas to beat boredom

• Estimate your tax liability
• Organize the junk drawer, discarding little packets of ketsup and soy sauce over two years old
• Catch up on taped American Idol auditions
• Answer unopened emails and forward to everyone you know

I picked the latter.  I found one called Truths for Mature Humans.  The email was less than a year old, so I thought the truths might still be relevant.  As I read, I added a few of my own truths — for the young at heart.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.  And answer my 500 unread emails.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.  Don’t know, never happened.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.  I just hate that all my naps seem to come in the middle of my favorite television dramas.

 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.  It comes with lots of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  Forward me that email and I’ll read it the same day.  Have you seen the one on how to fold a shirt?

 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?  Without cursive, how would I express my written anger?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.  Not always.  Half the time I pull out of my driveway heading the wrong direction.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.  Boy, have I got some whoppers for you.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.  About 10 a.m.

10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.again.  I still own 8 tracks.

11. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.  I know attorneys who have 15 copies of a document due to that fear.

12. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.  Some of those numbers belong to my kids.

13. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?  Three.

14. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.  I’ve already eaten all the flan.  Otherwise, I’d never be answering silly emails.

Okay, only 499 unopened emails to go.

Related posts:

1. I’ll have a ticket with that
2. In the twinkling of an eye