Finding favor with Linda

Last night I received a disturbing phone call — one of my good friends collapsed in the emergency room and passed away.  At this time of year, I think more than any other time, we are aware of our blessings, and how fragile and precious life is.  I will miss Linda.

Linda was short, honest, may have hung onto every cent she ever earned, a conservationist, and ultra-organized.  She hated being short.  She once showed up to play tennis in 3″ heels.  She never understood why everyone wasn’t honest.  It was easy, she thought.  You never had to worry about forgetting what you said had happened.  She carried frugal to a whole other dimension.  She washed out used ZipLoc baggies, turned them inside out, and let them dry.  She didn’t believe in wasting anything that had any life left in it.  She may have been one of the originating recyclers.  She designed and sewed her own clothing, and any holes in the fabric were covered up cleverly with pockets.  She had recycled zippers from every outfit she had ever worn.  When I’d told her I’d sewn my daughter’s wedding dress, she pulled the bride aside at the reception and inspected.

The last time I dropped by she talked me into taking an old food processor home.  “Why are you giving it up?” I asked.

“It has too many parts,” she confessed.  I’d probably never use it, but I’d taken it anyway.  She’d gone to such efforts to find a new home for it.  Every part was intact, and the instruction manual was taped to the side of the machine.

Her assortment and method of categorization of discounts made Couponman look like an amateur.  She loved being organized.  Long ago, she bragged about buying canned fruits and vegetables, all on sale, all from S&W.  When she opened a can, she’d remove the label from the outside.  She’d place it over the next can to be rotated to the front of the shelf, so that it matched the others, even if underneath its cover it might be a Libby or DelMonte infiltrator.  There was never an item out of place in her pantry.  She made her own homemade ice cream and kept it organized by date, in exactly the same size containers, fitting nicely in her special freezer of many drawers.

One day when the mailboxes in the area had been vandalized, she rode her bike (it looked like it was made of heavy-duty PVC), around the neighborhood and painted over the graffiti on all the mailboxes.

Linda wasn’t easily impressed.  But when Couponman barbecued a filet mignon for her one night last summer, she’d sounded like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.  And then there was the time I found whole boxes of chandelier light bulbs on closeout for 1¢ each.

She didn’t hold grudges, but let you know you didn’t have many chances.  You knew where you stood.  And if you found favor with her, you never lost it.  I was lucky enough to be found in favor. 

The world will be a little less perfect without Linda.

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23 Comments on Finding favor with Linda

  1. Frima Telerant says:

    You certainly knew Linda well. We were shocked to hear the news and, to tell you the truth, I still can’t quite believe it. We have lived across the street from Linda for close to 40 years. To me, she was the Mayor of Kelton Avenue. She knew most of what was going on and, if someone was in need, she was there to help. She had a strong sense of what was right and also what was absurd. She was quirky and funny and although she had some health issues, she seemed like one of those people who would go on forever.We should get together and tell Linda stories-I’m sure we will have both lots of laughs and lots of tears. She will be missed.

  2. Cindi Gibbon says:

    I am so sorry you lost your friend. My prayers.

  3. Joanie Adler says:

    We were also terribled shocked and saddened by Linda’s passing. She wasn’t old enough to go yet! I still can’t believe it. Thanks, Penny, for your message about Linda. She certainly was unique and we loved her for that.
    Ron and Joanie Adler

  4. Grandma Kc says:

    Oh Penny, I am so sorry for your loss. Linda sounds like she was a wonderful person. Sending you a hug.

  5. Laurel says:

    I was touched…and I did not even know her. Thank you.

  6. Rachel Luxemburg says:

    My best wishes that you and Linda’s family will find comfort in this most difficult time.

  7. Les says:

    I am stunned. I made friends with Linda almost as soon as we started law school together in 1969. She stood out because she wore a leopard skin coat, towed her briefcase around on a set of wheels (before that was a common commodity: she and her husband Lou made it themselves) and piled her hair on top of her head so she wouldn’t look so short. She wrote with a pen with a long feather quill attached to it which extended far above her head. I learned to love the L.A. Times and Doonesbury because she brought the paper to school every day (especially the comics). When I was in Micronesia for a 6 month internship she would save up the comics for two or three weeks at a time and send them to me. What a thoughtful friend! When I met her she had a one year old son she called HB. I asked her what the initials stood for and she said “Human Being.” She had been a big supporter of Planned Parenthood and zero population growth. She was chagrined when she got pregnant with HB, but didn’t think about abortion. Instead she sent an announcement (so I am told) that depicted a baby being delivered through a hole in a diaphragm. That is just one example of her quirky, outrageous sense of humor. She was Order of the Coif and ruined the curve for the rest of us but was never a “grade snob” or a pseudo-intellectual. We lost touch after law school, but she reached out to invite me to the 10 year reunion of our law school class. By then I was married to a woman who was shorter and quirkier and even more outgoing and lovable than Linda. Thus began regular “dates” between Linda and Lou, Sandra and I that have continued now for almost thirty years. Linda came to our daughter’s wedding last year, and since Lou was gone by then we had her sit with Sandra’s four crazy sisters so she would feel comfortable. For the past several years she was our guest each year at the Laguna Beach Pageant of the Masters (we attended HB’s wedding on the grounds there several years ago) and resisted our generosity, always wanting to pay for her own ticket. Finally, this past August she prevailed, refusing to come unless we agreed to let her reimburse us for the ticket. She practically oozed with affection for her friends, and she had many of them, but she shyly resisted expressing it physically, especially to men. However, when she said good-bye to me last August she gave me a hug and a kiss. I never dreamed that would be the last I would see her. There are many other stories I could tell, but I can save them for later since this message is already getting too long. I am not too computer savvy, so could you please paste this into the message page that is going out to all of Linda’s friends? Also, could you please make sure we get the details on where and when Linda’s memorial service will be held? Thank you very much for being thoughtful enough to make sure word got out to Linda’s wide circle of friends.

  8. Susan Adcox says:

    I didn’t know Linda, but it certainly sounds as though her passing has left the world a poorer place. My condolences.

  9. barbara gill says:

    i was her cousin and i will be always grateful to her because my son wanted to pass his bar exam in california. she let him stay at her house and helped him study for it. he also went to her house for thanksgiving. he lives in san diego and is devastated at her passing. she loved life and was very unusual but very special to so many people. she will be sorely missed by all. love you linda.

  10. Danny Greene says:

    Linda was a great cousin. She was always there for me. She helped me during law school and made me the lawyer I am today. I remember staying at her house and staying up late to study for law school exams. Even when I wanted to give up, she kept pushing me to study.
    We were so greatful, to see her during Thanksgiving. You will truly be missed. Love, Danny, Mari and Anthony.

  11. Jackie Fabe says:

    I could not believe Linda had died. I talked to her last Thursday afternoon and she told me she had acid reflux. I wnt her an email to the wrong address and noticed that it had been returned. At that moment HB called with the terrible news.
    I met Linda and Lou in 1980 at the LAPLA (Patent Law) weekened at La Costa. My husband Marshall is a patent lawyer as was Lou. Every year I called to see if Linda and Lou were going and we went when they went and also Jack and Donna Scherlacher. I was pregnant when I met Linda and now my son is 30 years old! We went to HB’s party at 13, to his wedding and saw him at college and the LAPLA throughout the years. I am so sorry for HB and his family’s loss.

    Linda and I were supposed to go to Japan earlierthis year, and then the earthquake happened. I thought we might go another time. Linda passed so young. everyone should live life to the fullest!

    Love Jackie, Marshall and family

  12. Suzanne Goodwin says:

    Norman and I knew Linda well. She and Lou were among the first to visit me during a long hospitalization, bringing movies and then Chinese take out to my home upon my release. She delighted in steering our pontoon boat. We enjoyed her homemade ice cream and her famous short ribs. She took great pride in projects around the house and Arrowhead cabin, tackling daunting jobs. She had long discussions with Norman about our instant hot water heater and later insisted he follow her to her basement for a surprise–her newly-purchased one. A strong supporter of Israel, she was also a vocal atheist. Once I was sharply chastised when she thought I had said God Bless You to her. I had said something sounding like that, but her hearing was poor. At the time, she was waiting for Medicare to get the much needed hearing aide. Lou adored her and endured her eccentricities with grace and pride. It was merely amusing to him that she would not participate in the saying of grace at the table of her son’s prospective-in-laws. The last time we were in her home, she insisted that Norman and I each take an item of Lou’s clothing. His Mickey Mouse tie and a wool sweater still hang in my closet, but I think more of Linda when I see them. It is hard to comprehend that such an enthusiastic person is gone.

  13. Ronald Notestine says:

    I was shocked to hear of Linda’s passing. Her friendship has been one of the constants of my life since meeting her on my first day at UCLA in 1963, just before classes started. She was playing chess while seated on a chair with at least two very thick phone books. (Remember those?)
    Linda was to have visited us here in Japan last April, after she and her friend Jackie saw Kyoto. They cancelled the trip after the last earthquake, and I had been intending to ask her if she wished now to come next year. Ironically, when the earthquake struck in Japan, I was staying a few days in the apartment above Linda’s garage on Kelton avenue.
    I am writing from Japan, and have to leave now to teach a morning class. I will write more later.
    Ron Notestine

  14. Jack and Donna Scherlacher says:

    Just this past Monday, HB called to tell us that Linda had passed away. This came as a shock, especially since she lived a healthy life and seemed to do all the right things. I guess life is full of surprises.
    We first met Linda shortly before she and Lou were married. Lou and I were in the same law firm, and over the years Donna and I frequently got together with Lou and Linda for firm functions, professional events and our own social events. Early on we came to realize that Linda was a unique person in her own special way. She had many interesting qualities that set her apart from others. For one thing, she, like Lou, liked gadgets. After having her purse snatched, she invented a wrist pouch that wrapped around her wrist and had a securable pocket for money, drivers licence and cards. Lou got a patent on it for her. Another time, we were in a restaurant when someone on the other side of the restaurant and a substantial distance from us lit a cigarette. While Donna and I didn’t notice at first, Linda who was allergic to smoke said “Oh my gosh, who’s smoking” and pulled out a battery powered fan to blow the smoke away from her.
    Over the years, she would frequently ask when we were going to invite her to dinner. When we finally got around to having Linda and Lou and mutual friends Marshal Lerner and Jackie Fabe for dinner, Linda announced that it was worth waiting for. While at our house, she asked to borrow a ruler to measure the layout of our family room which for some reason she found fascinating.
    Linda loved animals and delighted in telling tales of what her dogs had done. On one occasion when the dogs ran off and were not located for several days, Lou went to pick them up. Someome had tied bandanas around their necks, and Lou described the dogs as looking like a couple of sailors coming back from liberty. On another occasion, Linda’s cat swallowed a knitting needle which was removed only after expensive surgery.
    We will truly miss Linda as we do Lou. They were very dear friends.
    Love, Jack and Donna Scherlacher.

  15. Ronald Notestine says:

    The Linda described by her friends, and the Linda I met on occasion in later life, were the same friend I spent so much time with as an undergraduate. When she said she “might as well” go to law school, she said it with her lopsided grin and shrug of the shoulders. But, later, she was furious with the way prosecutors made deals that let some guilty people go unpunished. This was a dishonesty that she could not shrug off; she said she would practice law on her own terms, in her own time.
    Those times I was passing thru and ran an errand for her, I was given a coupon (chosen from files of them, all carefully sorted by category and date), along with very specific instructions of where to go and how much to pay.
    There are so many things I could say about this remarkable person who had so many friends.
    As an undergraduate, she seemed to want to be seen as somewhat detached from the world and amused by it. She seemed to be full of interesting comments and insights, always delivered with the lopsided grin and tilt of the head, followed by a shrug. But, over the years, as we met from time to time, I realized that certain things were deeply important to her. Israel and her friends, of course, but most especially lou, HB, and her granddaughters.
    My wife Kanako and son Douglas also knew Linda and Lou. We all send our deepest sympathy to her family.
    Please, let us know when the memorial service will be.

  16. Nick Garcia says:

    H and I were roommates in college and I remember his moms honesty and say it as she saw it manner. I remember being unsettled at times when she would visit and “interview us”. As I reflect back on this time, I realize I have adopted many of the questions I learned from her as I meet my daughters friends. I want my children to associate with good people, just as she wanted for H. It was always clear from my perspective that she loved her son. After graduating from college, I didn’t see HB or his mom for many years, until his wedding. After not seeing Linda for many years, I talked with her at HB’s wedding, she chose to forego all the usual initial questions( how are you? How is your family?what have you been doing since college?), instead she chose the statement/question approach…”I heard you had a child out of wedlock, is that true?”….. I think she subsequently at a later time gave me one of the black wrist purses she used to wear, my “yup” honest answer seemingly was met with approvingly. My condolences.

    • Suzanne Goodwin says:

      You have captured Linda’s honesty perfectly with your anecdote. For this to-the-point honesty she made an excellent arbitration attorney. A seat on the bench would have suited her, too.

  17. Darlene Blum says:

    I am a cousin in law (Gary Blum’s wife) Linda was the most unique person I have ever met. I really enjoyed staying with her when I went out to Calif. It was really fun talking with her, and her talents were unbelievable. I had a pair of jeans that were really big on me, and when I went to visit her she took them in for me and used elastic from an old pair of Lou’s underware. I will never forget that and I love the jeans. Our family was going to go on a cruise from San Diego, not only did she let us stay at her house (Gary, Roxie, and Georgie) she let us drive her car there and leave it in the parking lot for that week. I could go on forever with some of the stuff that happen when we visit her. Our whole family will miss her.
    We Love you Linda Gary, Darlene, Roxie, Georgie

  18. Angie Garling says:

    I am HB’s second cousin-in-law, and came to know him and Vikki 10 years ago after reuniting with my birthparents. I only met Linda once at one of HB and Vik’s Hanukah get togethers. I am so sorry to hear of Linda’s passing and my heart goes out to HB and Vikki, Sasha and Austen and so many others who were part of Linda’s life. I am so glad to have a chance to learn more about Linda through this website. What a memorable woman! I laughed out loud many times reading all of these comments. And I think HB is an extraordinary Human Being. My family and I have always felt so welcomed at their house, for Halloween, Hanukah and other occasions. It seems that HB has followed in hi mom’s footsteps as a true host.

  19. My heart goes out to you and all who knew and loved Linda. She sounds like an interesting person who lived and loved large. My sincere condolences on the unexpected loss of your friend.

  20. Barbe Chambliss says:

    I am HB’s aunt-in-law twice or thrice removed. I know it is must be a sudden and deep loss for HB (Human Being???), Vikki, Sasha and Austin to lose such a unique grandma and mother so quickly, but what a wonderful legacy Linda must have been in their lives! If we could all be as honest, as quirkily funny, as loyal as the above comments tell us Linda was, and if we could all die as (hopefully) pain free as she did, then we would all lose our fear of both dying and living. She may be the only person who had to decide in her will how to transfer all of her coupons to her remaining family in a way that dodged any inheritance taxes. I wish I had known her.

  21. Sheryl Lipnick says:

    I was deeply saddened to hear of Linda’s passing. Linda had been my mother’s (Nancy Terrebonne) good friend for as long as I can remember. Her death was obviously a huge shock to everyone, and a crushing blow to my mom, who is quite devastated. She was always kind to me and I would always invite her to the special events in my life (wedding, baby shower). Of course, she had a unique, tell it like it is, personality, which I appreciated. My daughter just turned 2 last month. Now that she is old enough, I was finally able to use our Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah book that was given to me for my baby shower. I opened the cover and there was a special message from Linda Mok. “The perfect couple plus the perfect wedding equals the perfect baby”. Although Linda was my mom’s friend, I always thought she was my friend too. I loved having her in my life and will miss her greatly.

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