Excuses of the 21st century

Excuses being phased out — “I had to stop for a passenger train,” “my typewriter carriage return wouldn’t,” “the iron won’t heat up,” “my nylons got a run” or “my assignment was late because my pen ran out of ink.”

For younger readers — an iron was a mini-appliance for pressing clothing for a crisp unwrinkled look.

Excuses going through upgrades —

• “the computer crashed” updated to “my iPad, iPhone, and iBook just experienced iReconcilable differences,
• My assignment is late because “I didn’t have a ride to the library” upgraded to “the internet was down”
• “the dog ate my homework” upgraded to “identity thieves hacked into my computer and stole my assignment”
• I couldn’t call in late because “my chatty neighbor wouldn’t hang up on my party line” upgraded to “my cell phone fell in the toilet,”
• I was moving a little slow because “my coffee maker was on the fritz” upgraded to “my car broke down so I couldn’t get my morning Starbucks”
• “My older brother led astray” upgraded to “The GPS gal had me make a wrong turn”
• “The oven is out” upgraded to “the microwave wouldn’t work” means there’s no dinner
• “My friend forget to pick me up” upgraded to “my BFF is ”

I hadn’t heard from a friend in a while, so I sent her a quick email.  About a week later, I received a short answer:  “Sorry I’ve been out of pocket.  My mouse broke.”

Here’s the one I want to use –  “Sorry, boss, I’m late, but I was cashing in my winning lottery ticket.  Hasta la vista, baby.”  However, I guess it’s imperative that I buy a ticket.

Related posts:

1. My take on politics
2. To tweet or not to tweet
3. The E-life