Cleaning causes weight gain

Yesterday I decided to clean the kitchen, every nook and cranny.  The first corner cupboard housed cold cereal.  There were suggestions of Cheerios^®, Total^®, Life^®, and Raisin Bran^® in nearly empty boxes.  I combined them all and ate a healthy bowl of Totally Cheery Raisin Life.  I don’t know why Kelloggs hasn’t come up with it yet.  Then there was the lone mini box of Fruit Loops^® that Couponman picked up from a free continental breakfast.  I am now fortified with enough Vitamin D, A, B Complex and Niacin for the whole week. 

I ate the two bowls of chocolate pudding smothered in leftover whipped cream.  My family will be shocked since chocolate is not my first choice.  I’ve always encouraged them to do things even when not their favorite thing to do, and this is my contribution.  Someone’s gotta sacrifice and bite the bullet (or in this case, the chocolate pudding), right?

After Couponman complained of Tupperware^® hell — the fact that no two containers in my vast supply used the same size lid — I threw away all but two sizes — one round, one rectangle.  That should simplify the matching process.  I’ve spent sleepless nights wondering about missing lids.  The only logical explanation is are vacationing with the stray socks.

I ate the remnants of stale graham crackers.  Sure, they weren’t as crisp as they once were, but you could hardly tell with the glob of leftover cream cheese frosting spread between them.  I poured a bag of opened marshmallows into a plastic container to keep them fresh.  The container was too small.  I ate the leftover marshmallows. 

There were a few more items I disposed of, but too small to mention.  “Just a bite,” so Couponman says, when he’s sneaking an after dinner treat.

After weighing this morning, I gained three pounds.  No wonder I steer as much away from cleaning as I often as I possibly can.  It’s fattening.

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4. He’s a peach
5. Watch what you eat