Cast of Characters
- Me - helpless romantic
- Gifted American Princess - daughter #1
- Mr. Green Jeans - the son-in-law
- Hot Wheelz - son #1
- CoCo - daughter #2
- Cheezy - son #2
- the Bug - grandson #1 of 2
- the Worm - granddaughter #1 of 1
- the Mouse - grandson #2 of 2
- Couponman, the reporter - Grandpa
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About Me"Mom, you're on crack," my kids' favorite response to my valuable comments." I like to think of myself as the grandma humorist of the 21st Century. At best, I'm Erma Bombeck on crack.
I've been telling people what to do for years. And for the same number of years, they've been ignoring me. What better way to continue the tradition than to start blogging!
I hope you enjoy my funny... working its way up to hilarious... blog.
Please leave COMMENTS. I love to know you enjoy the posts. Some days your comments make my whole day. I'm of the age when that might be as good as it gets!
For More than you wanted to know about me click on the link.
Category Archives: health
The other day I looked at my feet while I was in downward dog. There was so much extra, wrinkled skin around my ankles that they looked like they should have been attached to an alligator. As I raised my … Continue reading
Yesterday I went to the ophthalmologist. She had discovered a rare form of quick on-set glaucoma. A simple procedure would prevent blindness. “Will it hurt?” I asked. “Just a little flick that feels like a rubberband against the back of your … Continue reading
Dawn, our ever inventive yoga instructor, came to class last week with an Olympics agenda. Brandy did a beautiful “whole wheel.” Dawn raised her paddles — 10. My whole wheel looked more like a flat tire. I found out loads … Continue reading
“You’re balance is much better today,” commented Killer Kelly, my personal trainer. I stepped up on the stool, raised the other knee, and balancing on one foot without the usual sway. “It might be the cheese cake I ate the … Continue reading
I was feeling a little hungry earlier than usual today. About nine in the morning, I pried open a bag of chips — Costco size. I had started them a few days ago. They were a wee bit stale. A … Continue reading
“Move into pushup plank position,” Dawn, our pleasant bright-as-a-summer’s-day yoga instructor, commanded. “Lift your right leg slightly above the ground, toes pointed. Continue breathing.” As if the first command wasn’t hard enough. Now she wants us to continue breathing? “Now … Continue reading
Four weeks and counting. I’ve got ten pounds to go before Costa Rica sees me in a swim suit. I made the mistake of telling Kelly, my trainer. “We’ll begin with burpees,” she said. “Let’s shoot for fifteen.” Until today … Continue reading
Travis left me. My personal trainer is moving on to “bigger” things… “This is Kelly,” Travis said, introducing me to my new torturer. “I’m going to show her what you like before I leave her with you.” “Like is a strong … Continue reading
“Mom,” I heard over the phone line, “how do you get blood out of white.” I didn’t want to appear overly concerned, so I answered, “What kind of fabric?” After four children and numerous attempts at removing blood (or so … Continue reading