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"Mom, you're on crack," my kids' favorite response to my valuable comments." I like to think of myself as the grandma humorist of the 21st Century. At best, I'm Erma Bombeck on crack.
I've been telling people what to do for years. And for the same number of years, they've been ignoring me. What better way to continue the tradition than to start blogging!
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Category Archives: exercise
Laugh of the devil woman
Okay with all my traveling, I have not been able to attend yoga as much as I would like. The last time I did, Dawn had us in side plank position with our top leg bent in tree position, our foot resting lightly … Continue reading
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Yoga and the Olympics
Dawn, our ever inventive yoga instructor, came to class last week with an Olympics agenda. Brandy did a beautiful “whole wheel.” Dawn raised her paddles — 10. My whole wheel looked more like a flat tire. I found out loads … Continue reading
A sturdy foundation
“You’re balance is much better today,” commented Killer Kelly, my personal trainer. I stepped up on the stool, raised the other knee, and balancing on one foot without the usual sway. “It might be the cheese cake I ate the … Continue reading
Fish out of water
I was feeling a little hungry earlier than usual today. About nine in the morning, I pried open a bag of chips — Costco size. I had started them a few days ago. They were a wee bit stale. A … Continue reading
Corpse pose is my favorite yoga move
“Move into pushup plank position,” Dawn, our pleasant bright-as-a-summer’s-day yoga instructor, commanded. “Lift your right leg slightly above the ground, toes pointed. Continue breathing.” As if the first command wasn’t hard enough. Now she wants us to continue breathing? “Now … Continue reading
I’m outta here
Four weeks and counting. I’ve got ten pounds to go before Costa Rica sees me in a swim suit. I made the mistake of telling Kelly, my trainer. “We’ll begin with burpees,” she said. “Let’s shoot for fifteen.” Until today … Continue reading
Shopping is exercise
After 3 months of diligent trips to the gym, I still hate exercise. But as much as I despise it, I know keeping active is required after age fifty. As my dates with a trainer wane, only ten more left, … Continue reading
The waaaaah-bulance
Travis left me. My personal trainer is moving on to “bigger” things… “This is Kelly,” Travis said, introducing me to my new torturer. “I’m going to show her what you like before I leave her with you.” “Like is a strong … Continue reading
Sound of the crow
“Tree pose, everyone,” instructed Dawn. “Hands in prayer position in front of your heart.” My balance is getting better, I smiled to myself. From tree pose, everyone inhaled their arms overhead. Everyone looked like a sturdy oak. Everyone but me. … Continue reading
Ducks are cocky
“Hey, Mom, let’s go to the gym,” Cheezy said while I visited in Utah this past weekend, “I’ll train you.” As we turned the corner, two ducks stepped off the curb in front of the car. “Ducks are just too … Continue reading
