Almost Amish x2

Twins born 14 years apart?  Yes, indeedy.  Raised as close to Amish in Los Angeles as two sisters could be — only difference – zippers and hot cars (okay, so a Rambler station wagon was not exactly a hot car).  Our arranged marriages didn’t work out, but left us with eight reasons between the two of us to campaign for birth control.  Holly went postal and I went high tech. 

Today I received a call from Holly while she was trudging in snow (literally) delivering mail.  “I had to deliver a package today,” she said, panting.  And that’s different from any other day, how? I’m wondering.  “The guy who answered the door wore no shirt,” she continues. 

I’m thinking, gag.  I’d just caught a glimpse of a pot-bellied guy walking by.  “You mean there are perverts in Utah, too?” 

“No, no,” she said, still breathless, “he had the most gorgeous chest I’ve ever seen.”

I laughed.  Years ago Coco once looked questionably at me when she’d already thought of me as ancient and I’d whirled around the block again to catch another glance at the shirtless detail man rubbing down a Mercedes.  “I’m not dead,” I’d said.

“Did you strike up a conversation,” I asked, “or just stare at his chest?”

“Well, actually, I needed a pen for him to sign with,” she said, having conveniently left hers in the mail truck, “so I got to watch him strut around his house.”

As I hung up that call another came in from Coco.  “Guess what?” she exclaimed.  “A striking older guy who came in (remember the new job and the boyfriend breakup) the other day returned today with purple tulips for me and asked me if I wanted to go to the theater with him.”

“How old is older?” I asked.

“It’s nothing, Mom,” she said.  “But he brought tulips, and I’m smiling.”

Some people get all the luck.  But I can’t complain.  Yesterday when I arrived home I had a pot of chicken soup and a bowl of tapioca pudding (fluffy just the way I like it) waiting.  I just want to know — does hot food rank above or below tulips and spectacular pecs?

Postlogue:

I called my sister to see if the memory still lingered.  It did, and after a little postal conversation (nothing is sacred in the mailroom), she found the pecs guy is in a hockey league.  Wonder if it’s a shirtless league?  He’s also an in-flight nurse.  Looks like I’ll be picking my sister up at the airport sometime soon, after being resisitated from some mysterious illness by a handsome nurse on the flight.

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2. Homonym humor
3. Holiday shopping
4. Watch what you eat
5. Top of the morning to you