Recently I read some Words of Wisdom in another blog. I’ve elaborated on a few of those common sense tidbits and added a couple of my own learned experiences.
If you feel something not so nice, say it inside your head. Wear earplugs to make sure there are no leaks.
Mean is not acceptable, except in “mean what you say.”
Make good choices or perfect your skill at blaming others.
Develop tricks for a failing memory. I remember my fax number by the size I wish my bust was — 36 — and the age I feel some days — 84. (And now you’ll never forget my fax number either.)
If it works, stir clear of it. As soon as you realize it’s not broken, it will be. This is NOT an excuse to NOT do laundry.
Sanity is the only place that IS as far away as it feels.
You are only as old as you feel, most days. Some days no matter how young you feel, you run into a mirror and the illusion is over.
Quality. Speed. Price. Pick two. When you pick all three, you deserve what you get. I know this one too well. I have a damaged computer sitting in Brooklyn, New York, in a crushed-during-shipment box which voids the service contract as I write this blog. But I got such a good deal on the extended warranty.
If it’s free, you just haven’t been billed yet. This applies to “free with a small shipping and handling fee,” free trial periods, and free love. See above paragraph.
When doing your best isn’t good enough, outsource it or call a friend and whine.
The best way out is straight through it except in a construction zone.
A clean house always gives you peace of mind. When it can’t be yours, go visit a neat friend.
Kiss someone all over their face, preferably someone you know. But, then again…
Tell your favorite joke and laugh out loud. The Bug’s told this one over and over “Where does the King keep his small army?” and before you can answer, he says, “In his little sleevie,” and I still laugh.
Have a good scream or cry, especially on Weepy Wednesday or Turbulent Thursday or Fit-to-be-Tied Friday. You get my drift. For either, you don’t need a reason, you just need a pillow.
Say “I love you” often and mean it. Don’t use it as a manipulative tool or weapon. The love gun should never be used as an automatic, but only with deliberate aim.
Sleep well, but not while driving, during the last five minutes of a television drama, or while eating Brussels sprouts. Just ask Coco on that one.
Be thankful you don’t believe in reincarnation and have to do it all over again.
When all else fails, suck it up and learn from it…
Related posts:
- Let me introduce you to my family
- Family vacation nightmare
- What do you want to be when you grow up?
- Long ago in the land of milk and cookies
- The magic of youth
Print This Post
Pingback: Scared straight | So Humor Me
I love your humor and your ability to come up with memorable quotes. The only quote I’ve come up with is a summary of my feelings on aging – age, the number of years I’ve been married, and the ages of my children, are all imaginary numbers.